I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize