bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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