I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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