hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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