The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis