3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I can text with my tongue
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
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420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.