i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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