so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
