The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
