My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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