I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
