Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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