Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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