you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
