i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
