I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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