i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
