You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
