there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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