I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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