I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
