No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
