literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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