I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
