I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
