So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
