There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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