hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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