So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
