she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize