i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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