Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
