I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize