This is not my ceiling
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
