so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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