Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
