i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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