I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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