Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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