got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
