pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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