since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize