If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We have started to decorate penises.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
