The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
