so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
