I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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