you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Please, let me fuck your mom
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
