Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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