Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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