why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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