its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize