Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize