I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
