their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
