Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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