Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
