well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
