I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
