The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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