You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
