I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
