Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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