yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I need to stop coming to work sober
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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