I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
