rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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