how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
